F MY LIFE!

Ughhhh. A little rundown on the latest drama in my fing life.

In January I decided I was going to take the much dreaded stats classes this summer, instead of next fall and spring. I'd heard if you did it this way, it was in some ways easier - and there's a semester long project they have to cut out of the curriculum. I've never taken summer classes before, and although I knew it would suck a little...I planned to tough it out. My friend Sara from the social work program was going to do it with me, and we were excited to be able to work together. Being the responsible student that she is, she went to our academic adviser to make sure that our plans were A-ok. She got some interesting news from Linda Lawrence.......

"Don't take that stats class!!! The professor is TERRIBLE, and everyone hates him! You'll have an awful time in there, and even though Stats is supposed to be hell, this is unbelievable!".

Ok so this is coming from the Department of Social Work. From a professor, and academic adviser. Advising us not to take a class with a certain professor?? Really....well, now you may be asking yourselves, why is this professor even allowed to teach the class if he's that bad??? Very logical question. Because he has freaking tenure, and they can't get rid of him. F MY LIFE. Ok, so this all could have been avoided right? Well Sara decided to sign up for the pschology equivalent, and spare herself the trauma of our social work version. I however, am far more massochistic. The psych version is only offered during the day, and since I wanted to be able to work full days, I thought that it would be so much better to take it at night. I'm a tough person - however bad it is, I can handle it.

WRONG.

My first class was last night, and what a freaking joke. It's not even realisic all the crap I'm supposed to have done by tomorrow night. The coursepack, which was written by him by the way, was $67.....which I paid. I did this only after finding out he said we were not to get a used copy. The reason for this is because he found a lot of mistakes IN HIS OWN BOOK, so he changed them, and we need the newest copy. Well, I only read the first 2 pages, but my highligher and I were distracted by how many errors we still found. Pleasant isn't a difficult word to spell. See, I just did it. I'll do it again, Pleasant. Anyway, the coursepack is composed of over 800 pages of 8 pt font...on computer paper. The whole page. Over 800 pages of this. F MY LIFE. For tomorrow I'm responsible for 155 pages of this. Maybe my prof isn't such a dick, and instead has a sense of humor...I'm not sure yet. On top of this, I have 2 other assignments to do. After a mini panic attack earlier, I decided that I would have to transfer into Sara's class. It's during the day, so I won't be able to work, but at the rate I'm going I won't be able to work either. In order to get all that bullshit done I'd have to take off work tomorrow.......and I need money more than I care about fing statistics. So, no. I'm desperately trying to find someone to buy my coursepack from me, but there are only 14 people in the class (soon to be 13). If I can't find anyone I'm still going to do it, and I'll just view that $67 as collaterol damage. A necessary loss in an invetible struggle to try NOT to lose my mind this summer.

Honest to god, the situation is shitty enough, without having a professor who thinks my life right now needs to revolve around trying not to fail this class. 2 days a week I'm in class ALL SUMMER LONG. This first class ends on July 2, and then my second one begins July 6. If I can cause myself a little less pain, I think I shall.

Seriously all I can say is fml.

There are quite a few people out there who are so supportive too. I put a frustrated status up on facebook, and immediately got two really nice responses. But of course there's that one person in my life who finds it completely impossible to support me in any way. Instead she'd rather belitttle my choices since I am so clearly irresponsible and immature compared to her adult-like ways.

For that I have a message. Being independent and 100% self sufficient is fine....but does it make you a nicer person? No. Not to me. It certainly doesn't make you more understanding either. If you work this hard your whole life until you retire, what are you left with? Certainly not memories of the fun, and maybe sometimes, irresponsible times you had. You're also not independently wealthy. No. You've managed to get by, probably well, but who did you spend that time with? Your job?

I'm sorry, but I think there's more to life than this. If that means my parents help me out right now, and maybe I'm going to bitch about being stuck inside during the summer, well then so be it. I think that based on how shitty last summer was, my 60 hour work weeks, I'm allowed to be bitter at the dismal prospects that this year provides. It doesn't make me a lesser person that you. I'm just as worthwhile.

The end. This turned into quite the rant....

I really do have a lot of good going on in my life, right? I know I do, just kidding.

I JUST WISH I'D FOUND ANOTHER JOB. Sigh.

More later, maybe....