The Last Post

Alright, I haven't completely decided if I should delete this blog or not, but I have decided to stop posting in it. I started a new blog, and I'm pretty excited about the things I'm going to write about in there. The new address is http://watchmaureensavetheworld.blogspot.com/ so from now on, that's where you'll hear about the exciting things going on withe me!

<3

New Plan

Ok...so obviously I don't enjoy working out. We've established that. I really wish I had a new bike that I could ride around on, but since I'm not about to spend that sort of money right now...new plan. I've decided to try something interesting, and we'll see how long I stick with it....

Counting my calories!

I've done some research, and I found a website that took my personal info (body weight, height, age), and calculated how many calories I should have per day. The guidelines are:
Maintenance- 1710 calories/day
Fat Loss - 1368 calories/day
Extreme Fat Loss - 1280 calories/day

Every day I'm going to shoot for in the Extreme Fat Loss category. So far today it's been a big success. I've had breakfast, a snack, and lunch....and there's still plenty of room for dinner and another snack. I have a small notebook that I'm going to throw in my purse to carry with me, and it has all the above info in it. Here's what my first page looks like :

Monday August 17, 2009
Breakfast:
1 c. Go Lean Kashi Cereal: 140
1/4 c. TVP (for cereal): 80
1/2 c. blueberries: 30
1 c. vanilla soy milk: 100
Total: 350

(what I did here was just doctor up my cereal. I already like how it tastes, but adding the TVP gives me like 12 more grams of protein. I love blueberries, so I just threw them in my cereal too.)

Snack:
String Cheese: 80
New Total: 430

Lunch:
2 stalks of celery: 25
1 oz of hummus: 90
1 c. cantaloupe: 54
1 activia yogurt: 110
1/4 c. tuna fish: 70
Total: 349

New Total: 779

If I'm going with the extreme fat loss guideline, this leaves me with 501 calories left for the day. I'm going to have another stick of string cheese, and then go to Paneras for a delicious salad. I'm good to go.

One thing that I thought would be especially difficult about this, was figuring out how much was in certain things that maybe weren't marked. The cantaloupe for instance. Like I said though, I've been researching everything, and it's so easy to find stuff online. I even found an easy converter for not so bright people like me, who can't remember things like how many teaspoons are in an ounce.

Realistically I know there will be a lot of days that I go over. There will also probably be many days I don't write everything down; partly due to maybe not wanting to research. Overall I think I'll do better than I won't though, because knowing how many calories I am from my limit will help me to say to myself, "no Maureen, you do not need popcorn at the movies tonight...you only have 350 calories to spare." I'll then be forced to hopefully find a healthy alternative. Plus, let's be honest - I do love making lists.

So there we go. Let's see how this works. I'll be attempting to drink my 80 ounces of water a day as well (80 because you're supposed to have half your body weight in ounces). If I do this, and maybe hop on the elliptical every so often, maybe I'll finally start to see changes!!

Wahoo!!

I went to the gym this afternoon, and I rocked the elliptical! For a half an hour I kept up a very fast pace of an average of 130 strides per minute. My goal was to burn 300 calories, but I ended up burning 326! It felt awesome - had I been running I think I would have gone really far. The best part was that I pretty much kept up that steady case. It started out around 118, but then I realized more calories with the more strides per minute, so I tried to not let it go below 130. It sometimes went up to as high as 138!!!

Anyway, my inspiration came from the desire to not feel guilty tomorrow about all that I'm going to drink tonight ;). Wahoo indeed!

More soon, hopefully.

Quick update:

So here's what's been going on since the last time I wrote...forever ago. I haven't found a job this summer...still. I almost failed my stats class, but somehow barely passed. I just started the 2nd class, and this one seems like it will be a lot easier. Ummmmm yeah. That's it. Life is definitely not exciting. I do have a lot of time to lay out, so that's a plus. What else? Today is exactly one month from my birthday, which means it will absolutely fly by. I don't think I feel really good about that, because I don't want to be 22. I want to be 21 forever haha. I never go out and drink, because it's too expensive...but it's a good age to be. Oh well.

I have a to do list today:
-Change the lightbulb in the basement
-Do laundry
-Clean up kitchen/table/living room/bedroom
-GYM!
-Shower and get around
-Go to store for errands
-Come back and take care of Grady
-Balance checkbook
-Go to Meridian Winds WITH trombone to see if they will buy it
-Mall with Ashley to meet Sadie for pedis!
-Dinner
-Movie with Ashley
-Bed, so that we can rise EARLY tmrw. to lay out

I'm glad I just put all that out there, for everyone who I'm sure doesn't care lol. Oh well. I'm going to get moving, because clearly I have so much to do today lol!!!

My fault...

This my friends is what I get for BITCHING about how awful my summer was last year. Poor Maureen....she had to work 60 hour weeks, and her mom was sick. Well guess what, my mom is still sick, I wish I had a freaking job to work even 20 hours a week, and a million other things have already gone wrong. It's June 2nd, my cousins in the hospital dying, my childhood dog of almost 14 years was just put down, and 1 of 2 things are going to happen with my statistics class this summer: 1- worst case scenario is I fail, and a shit ton of money I don't have is down the toilet. 2- I pass, but get below a 2.5, forcing me to go before the social work board. They'll decide whether or not I have to retake the class for a shit ton of money I don't have.

I know I need to be as positive as possible right now, but I'm having a hard time with that. I can't stand to think of Joey like he is right now...I break down every time. It's not fucking fair, and I'm pissed. I'm having a hard time remembering all the things I'm grateful for as well.

Maybe I'm being punished?

Thank you Summer 2009 for in less than a month being able to outd0 Summer 2008. I just can't wait to see how much more fantastic it will get. No wait...I'm terrified to see that.

GRRRRRRR.

F MY LIFE!

Ughhhh. A little rundown on the latest drama in my fing life.

In January I decided I was going to take the much dreaded stats classes this summer, instead of next fall and spring. I'd heard if you did it this way, it was in some ways easier - and there's a semester long project they have to cut out of the curriculum. I've never taken summer classes before, and although I knew it would suck a little...I planned to tough it out. My friend Sara from the social work program was going to do it with me, and we were excited to be able to work together. Being the responsible student that she is, she went to our academic adviser to make sure that our plans were A-ok. She got some interesting news from Linda Lawrence.......

"Don't take that stats class!!! The professor is TERRIBLE, and everyone hates him! You'll have an awful time in there, and even though Stats is supposed to be hell, this is unbelievable!".

Ok so this is coming from the Department of Social Work. From a professor, and academic adviser. Advising us not to take a class with a certain professor?? Really....well, now you may be asking yourselves, why is this professor even allowed to teach the class if he's that bad??? Very logical question. Because he has freaking tenure, and they can't get rid of him. F MY LIFE. Ok, so this all could have been avoided right? Well Sara decided to sign up for the pschology equivalent, and spare herself the trauma of our social work version. I however, am far more massochistic. The psych version is only offered during the day, and since I wanted to be able to work full days, I thought that it would be so much better to take it at night. I'm a tough person - however bad it is, I can handle it.

WRONG.

My first class was last night, and what a freaking joke. It's not even realisic all the crap I'm supposed to have done by tomorrow night. The coursepack, which was written by him by the way, was $67.....which I paid. I did this only after finding out he said we were not to get a used copy. The reason for this is because he found a lot of mistakes IN HIS OWN BOOK, so he changed them, and we need the newest copy. Well, I only read the first 2 pages, but my highligher and I were distracted by how many errors we still found. Pleasant isn't a difficult word to spell. See, I just did it. I'll do it again, Pleasant. Anyway, the coursepack is composed of over 800 pages of 8 pt font...on computer paper. The whole page. Over 800 pages of this. F MY LIFE. For tomorrow I'm responsible for 155 pages of this. Maybe my prof isn't such a dick, and instead has a sense of humor...I'm not sure yet. On top of this, I have 2 other assignments to do. After a mini panic attack earlier, I decided that I would have to transfer into Sara's class. It's during the day, so I won't be able to work, but at the rate I'm going I won't be able to work either. In order to get all that bullshit done I'd have to take off work tomorrow.......and I need money more than I care about fing statistics. So, no. I'm desperately trying to find someone to buy my coursepack from me, but there are only 14 people in the class (soon to be 13). If I can't find anyone I'm still going to do it, and I'll just view that $67 as collaterol damage. A necessary loss in an invetible struggle to try NOT to lose my mind this summer.

Honest to god, the situation is shitty enough, without having a professor who thinks my life right now needs to revolve around trying not to fail this class. 2 days a week I'm in class ALL SUMMER LONG. This first class ends on July 2, and then my second one begins July 6. If I can cause myself a little less pain, I think I shall.

Seriously all I can say is fml.

There are quite a few people out there who are so supportive too. I put a frustrated status up on facebook, and immediately got two really nice responses. But of course there's that one person in my life who finds it completely impossible to support me in any way. Instead she'd rather belitttle my choices since I am so clearly irresponsible and immature compared to her adult-like ways.

For that I have a message. Being independent and 100% self sufficient is fine....but does it make you a nicer person? No. Not to me. It certainly doesn't make you more understanding either. If you work this hard your whole life until you retire, what are you left with? Certainly not memories of the fun, and maybe sometimes, irresponsible times you had. You're also not independently wealthy. No. You've managed to get by, probably well, but who did you spend that time with? Your job?

I'm sorry, but I think there's more to life than this. If that means my parents help me out right now, and maybe I'm going to bitch about being stuck inside during the summer, well then so be it. I think that based on how shitty last summer was, my 60 hour work weeks, I'm allowed to be bitter at the dismal prospects that this year provides. It doesn't make me a lesser person that you. I'm just as worthwhile.

The end. This turned into quite the rant....

I really do have a lot of good going on in my life, right? I know I do, just kidding.

I JUST WISH I'D FOUND ANOTHER JOB. Sigh.

More later, maybe....

Sigh....

20 minutes ago I was supppppper pumped to tell you all about my workout. I was going to title this something exciting and interesting...but then about 15 minutes ago my parade encountered some rain. Ashley was a TOTAL debbie downer, and what's ironic, is the stuff she called me out on, I was already planning on voicing in this post anyway. Sigh. Here we go anyway:

It's time to get in the habit again. Summer is looming, and NONE of my pants from last year fit. None. It's a good time. I finally decided tonight was as good a time as ever to hop back on the horse, so I drove over to the gym in rush hour. My positive demenor remained, and I decided to tan first. I was VERY happy to see that the gym was sparsely occupied, so after saying hello to Ashley (who, by the way, lives at the gym) I chose my favorite machine to start on: the bike! Looooove this thing, as I've previously mentioned. Since my heart really wasn't in the workout, when is it ever, I decided to stay on this machine only tonight. It has been over a month since I worked out, so come on... Anyway, after 5 minutes, I thought maybe 20 minutes would be sufficient for tonight. I was inspired, however, when I saw some seriously obese people come in....so it frightened me into staying on. When minute 25 came, I wondered if it was possible to stay on for a full hour tonight. Immediately I knew I wanted to try. Meanwhile, Ashley ran about 2 miles, and did various other things - but I was content with my showtunes, peddling away. I put myself on level 7, and manged to stay around an average 71 RPM (<--- I don't even know what that means...) so it's not exactly like I was slacking.....anyway, the entire time I knew I was going to write this, and I knew I wanted to pose a question: Is it possible to lose the amount of weight I want to lose, over an appropriate amount of time of course, with just riding the bike? If I did an hour a day? I'd work my level up, but get this: I ran for an hour, burning like 390 calories, and riding over 11 miles!!!! 11!!!! It said I was averaging like a 4 minute mile! I think that's why I enjoy biking to running so much - It would take 3x as long for me to even get close to RUNNING a mile. Anyway, I was impressed with myself.

When I returned home, however, Ashley was quick to point out that in order to be successful I need to have a more balanced workout. It's not like this is news to me. I'm well aware. I also am well aware of my limitations though....and working out, no matter how much I KNOW I NEED TO, is just hard to do. If I can find something that I sort of enjoy, that I can read while doing, I think I'll be more successful. Even if it's all I do. If I try to do what I was doing before I'll just get bored again. The other thing she called me out on, leaning back in the chair. I peddle really fast, but I don't sit up right the entire time. Every few minutes I sit back up, but the majority is definitely leaning back. OH WELL. To be fair to me again, it was my first trip back, so geeze.

I could probably throw in 30 minutes on the elliptical once a week......but my question remains: would it really be worthless to just do the bike alone? If nothing else it has to be a huge step up from what I've been doing............which is nothing. So yeah.

Oh and also, get this: Will's parents are taking a nutrition class, and a couple weeks ago at their hous they told me that their teacher said you're supposed to drink half your weight in ounces of water a day. This seems intense, but when I really thought about it, I could see the logic. You're flooding your system with water, which it has no choice but to metabolize, and use for all sorts of good things. I've been taking this to heart, and a couple days I've literally drank almost 80 oz's of water. I can't describe to you how much I pee now. It's great because I have this gigantic USMC water jug from the base which measures up to 34 oz's. Even when I don't drink 80, which is hard to do, I am so conscious of it that I drink at least 34 a day. Today I've drank like 50 so far.

Anywayyyy, this is boring now.

Hopefully more SOON.

<3