Oh Winter....how I Loathe Thee...

Hey, have I mentioned yet how much I hate winter?

I find myself asking people this question several times a day lately. I know the mind reels at the possibility of yet another snow storm, but there indeed is one tonight. It's happening as I write. Not a fan. I've been mentally compiling a list for a few weeks now of all the things I detest about this freaking winter wonderland, and after several unfortunate incidents tonight I cannot hold my tongue any longer. In true Maureen fashion I must make a list.

Please though, do consider it is 2:14 am, so I'm going to have to organize my thoughts.

Why I Loathe the Winter months in Michigan
(not necessarily in a particular order)

1. I hate the cold. I'm too cheap to actually buy a legitimate winter coat, so I suffer through the threat of frostbite by layering.
   
2. The freaking heating bill!! Although this also falls under my "I hate being an adult in the real world" list, it's important to note how much more expensive my bills are November-March. Ridiculous I say. Ridiculous.
3. Getting my car stuck in the snow!!!! This topic merits an entire paragraph itself, so please be patient. Prior to moving out of my parents house I only ever got my car stuck once...and that is because I stubbornly refused to wait until my dad plowed the driveway before attempting to leave my snowed-in-haven. Had I waited 10 more minutes I could have safely departed, but instead, I ignored his warning and marched out the door. No literally...His parting words were "you're going to get stuck", to which I replied, "will not"...and then shamefully returned less than 5 minutes later to ask for his help. In this scenario I had a kind and forgiving father who gave me a push, and I was on my way. Interestingly enough I don't often find many things that I miss about living with my dad (aside from his constant love and affection), however in this instance I miss it much! This year alone I've already been stuck, stranded rather, twice...and I foresee it happening at least one more time before this devil season ends. The first occurrence- ALMOST understandable. After non-stop snowing for 3 days I refused to leave the safety of my apartment until it was absolutely necessary. By the time I finally did I found that my car had been blocked in by a wall of snow created by a snow plow. Laughing at the inevitable I hopped in my car and wondered just how long it would be before I had to go get my shovel. Turned out to be not very long indeed...but I had expected it, so with very little grumbling I got back out of my car, and started for the townhouse. A very nice man happened to be watching this unfold, came right over, and gave me a push. It wasn't easy, because of the wall of snow, but he eventually freed me, and I was on my way. No harm done. Tonight however - different story entirely. It didn't snow all day, which I now see was just the calm before the storm...but it was a nice break from the last few days. It gave the plow trucks a chance to get around my complex, and thankfully not place a wall of snow behind my car! When I arrived home from work I was delighted to see the closest available parking spot to my townhouse free. It is a most coveted spot that I fight over with 2 of my neighbors, and at 6:30 I was surprised to get it. I didn't worry about pulling right in, because I remembered when I left this morning a van had been in its spot. Just to check to make sure I was alright though, since I am prone to worry, I reversed the Corolla, then went forward again before exiting my vehicle. An hour and a half later you can imagine my surprise when, as I was trying to pull out of the space, my tires began to spin. I was officially stuck. Out of nowhere. I went to get the shovel. This time, as it was not expected, I did far more grumbling and swearing...but being the liberated, independent, strong woman that I am...I tried to shovel myself out. It's important to note that somewhere in the back of mind I knew I could do this myself....yet I still hoped there was another nice gentleman lurking (can gentlemen lurk?), just waiting to help me out again. This was a probable possibility, because some of my neighbors from across the parking lot were outside smoking. Viewing the entire spectacle. Not helping. I noticed this after two failed attempts at shoving/pulling out. No matter how much snow I removed from behind my tires, they still refused to stop spinning. After another failed attempt I began to get incredibly angry. I was cold, and yet sweaty at the same time...a sure way to catch the plague, and then have yet another addition to this wonderful list...So I called Will. I was supposed to be heading over to his apartment, and at that moment I needed his emotional support. I started bitching about how the car refused to move, and how there were no decent men in the world (save for him of course), and that what kind of people just stand there and watch a young women struggle in the snow? There wasn't much he could do over of the phone, so I hung up to his promise to come and dig me out once he got out of the shower. We are now 20 minutes into this adventure (I know because I checked the times on my phone), and I was beyond mad. I'm only guessing here, but around minute 14 a car had pulled up to one of my neighbors houses, and appeared to be watching me. After I hung up with Will I noticed that a boy got out of that car and began to make his way over. He exclaimed that he couldn't understand why I was stuck, and that while he watched he kept expecting me to finally get it each time. Since it was obvious someone was finally going to help me I thought it best to keep my smart ass response to myself, and instead chose to say I couldn't understand how I was stuck either. He called his friend over, and the two high schoolers (maybe their age accounts for their lack of an immediate response) proceeded to prove that I was indeed quite stuck, but managed to finally push hard enough to get me unstuck. I truly felt that all the detail here was necessary. I wanted you to feel my sweat on top of my icy skin. These sorts of events do not put me in a good mood.
4. I feel a lot better now that I vented so much about the car situation. I feel like inconveniences such as that in general make up my severe dislike for the season...
5. What MUST NOT go unmentioned is the fact that I turn into a white-knuckled-driver when the roads are bad. Nothing stresses me out more. It's not so much myself that I'm concerned with...I'm a fantastic driver...but it's all the idiots around me. Also, it's the fact that i don't have winter tires, and my little Corolla has a tendency to slide. Whether it was driving Elyse and her friends home the night of her 21st birthday in a blizzard, or trying to make it home from work while praying all the while - I don't enjoy it. Tonight even was not a fun time. Will and I watched quite a few episodes of Curb your Enthusiasm, which he knew would put me back into a good mood, and we completely lost track of time. When I finally got up to go, and looked out the window, it was 1:30. I immediately noticed my car was covered. In the 5 hours I'd been there a mini-blizzard had occurred, and on the drive home I was one of the first 5 cars on 127 to make the trek. Plowing a major Michigan highway on my own isn't on my resume, and I don't get paid to do it...so when the opportunity to do so arises, I'd prefer to be nestled home safely instead. Not a fun time.
6. Having to dress warm, instead of cute, like I prefer to do. There's nothing more lame than donning boots to finish up your going out outfit. This only applies when I decide to actually be responsible, and dress appropriately. Going to the bar with frozen feet tends to be my go-to style.
7. Canceling plans because the roads are bad. I hate when the weather interferes.
   
8. Grady acting like a douchebag. This is another one of those things that could be applied to a great many lists, however in this context it gets to go here. Without exercise Grady turns into a very mean, very bad bad dog. It's best that he get to go for a walk, or spend an hour at the dog park. Do you think that happens while the weather is like this? No. Could I fix this particular grievance? Absolutely...but then I'd also have to fix #1, and then deal with the roads, and worry about my car getting stuck....Instead I've resigned myself to dealing with his bad behavior. Come spring I hope to have a much more well behaved dog residing with me...I know Kitty would appreciate it too...
9. Seasonal Affective Disorder. Sad. I need some sun. I need a tan. I need some flowers, and some overall cheeriness in my life. Don't we all?

I think, quite possibly, that I'm too tired to go on. If this were a word document, which I'm tempted to do some copying and pasting out of curiosity, I'd expect it to be three pages long. Where was this motivation during my 20 page SW 320 project last semester? Anyway...Grady the Satan dog is curled up on my leg, and we're ready for bed. I first need to leave Ashley a note warning her to leave early for work tomorrow, and brave the elements so that the dog can potty one more time. For those of you who think I am merely complaining and suggest I move..may I remind you...out of state tuition? I'm stuck here for the time being, but I'm even more resolved than before (and I used to be pretty resolved) that I need to get far far away from this ice cap state. Michigan and I aren't friends. And just so that you don't think I'm a complete grinch or something, do understand one thing: I LOVE snow on Christmas. I feel it's absolutely necessary for my peace of mind. I think that there needs to be a solid week of snow surrounding Christmas Day....but by New Years, it can all politely disappear. These are only my musings on the subject, and I'm sure there are many who would disagree. Oh well.

Adieu .