As Time Goes By...

Yikes. I'm back to sucking. I haven't been blogging, and I haven't been to the gym. My life is a mess. A lot went on in the last few weeks, and I don't know what happened - but I seriously fell off the train. It's so nice out though, and for the first time in a long time I'm motivated to actually get off my butt and be active. I think Grady and I are going to go for a walk in a little bit. Also, it's the time of the year to start wearing less - so I need to get ready for that. At the very least I want to get down to what I weighed this time last year...and then work on shedding some weight from that. My moms coming up this afternoon, and we have to go to Sam's. I think I'll pick up some South Beach friendly foods, and plan some delicious meals for next week.

I do know what part of my problem is - work. The children take SO MUCH out of me. I really thought it would be so awesome being a sub: getting to kinda sit around, and just babysit. No way. I was an extended sub for 7 days in a 1st grade room, and everyday I TAUGHT. And chased after them. The only down time I had was my quick 20 minute lunch, while I had to scarf down my food before having to run back and get them again. I know I've said this before, but it bears reiterating: I NEVER WANT TO BE A TEACHER. And seriously, I don't get paid enough for this. I need another job. Basically my point about this rant was, when I get home all I want to do is lay on the couch and not move. It's really hard. Plus with the end of the school year shit going on, and knowing I only have a couple weeks after that before summer classes....Gag me.

Plus, my depression is setting in, knowing it's going to be another insane summer. I'm going to have to find more work - possibly do the two job thing again, and with classs, and Grady...there won't be time to go anywhere. I can't really rely on my parents to take him as much anymore, because of Molly. He's just too much for her, and besides, it isn't their job to take my dog whenever I want anyways. Will is going to have just as crazy a schedule. He's got work + school to deal with. He really wants to go somewhere, but we'll have to see.

I'm in an odd mood this morning. I had the most life-like dream a little while ago. I woke up at 7:30 with the worst headache ever, and I think before that I had started the dream, a little....but I got up to get some Excedrin, and fell back asleep. Maybe it was the medicine, but I swear this dream felt like a memory - like something that had actually happened. Not good! I don't want to go into it, but not good! I only slept for about an hour and a half more, but that was enough for too much to happen. Sigh. I really am a mess.

Trying to fit in work, Grady, cleaning the house, running errands, SEEING MY BOYFRIEND, and the other necessities in my life is sooooooo difficult. Adding going to the gym to that, and it's one of the most stressful things ever. I want to, it's not that I don't, but when I get home at 4:30, it's not like I can easily find an extra 2 hours (prep, travel, actual work-out time, clean-up) to do it. Today for instance: Will has class til 5:30, which would give me plenty of time to do it. Instead, however, my mom is coming soon and we have a lot of shit to do this afternoon. Taking my laptop to be fixed, Sam's, Alltel (haha Nicole), lunch, and other errands - blah. And this is just today, but it feels like there's always something. I'm going to want to spend time with Will tomorrow, since I haven't seen him, and I have a meeting at 7. After that I have to write my 7 page paper, since I have to work both Monday and Tuesday (and it's due Tuesday). I know this sounds like excuses, but I seriously get why the majority of people with hectic schedules are obese. I'm one of those people. Sigh.

I'm just whining now, I get that. The end. I'm going to go get in the shower, and get ready for my mom.

And a shoutout to Nicole: I miss you. I want to see you soon. You are my inspiration for even wanting to get active, I want you to know that!!! <3

More later.